Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
