She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
