Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Send help, water and tortillas.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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