doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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