If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
