Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
