I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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