the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
