we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
