yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
