If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
