A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
