Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
