UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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