if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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