hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
