Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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