Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
