Screwed.edu
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
