I could have mohawked her pubes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
whose ass print is on the piano?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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