i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
