he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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