ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
