no, he came in my armpit
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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