i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
