I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
