We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
