i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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