yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
