you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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