hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
