Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
