is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
