I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
