8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
