instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
