I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
