A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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