Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
