dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
