There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
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