remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
