Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
