I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
