i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
