Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
