(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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