i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
