I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
