Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
