Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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