its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
